February 2012
1 tag
God: would you folks like some bacon?
Rational, intelligent human beings: sure, god! Thanks!
Sinners and harlots: no
Wow you can use a fisheye lens what a talented photographer you are
you know what I’m happy for meryl. good for her.
wow what the frick i wanna be like plankton and marry my computer too
wow i’m on my friend angelo’s computer and i have 1,034 followers what the fuck i missed my 1,000th i’m soooo mad
Jamal’s listening to spice girls. He is black. Why is he listening to spice girls.
Do you ever think of a good idea for a text post and then realize that it isn’t funny in any way and you become depressed because you’re less funny than nick cannon’s standup
Mars is like a giant boob and mt olympus is the nipple
I’m gonna start adding (Taken without Instagram) to all the pictures I take so everyone knows I’m not gay
Hi I don’t have any way to check my messages or anything on here so if you have my number text me because I have no contacts in my new phone
when will we realize that we are the only people who think we’re funny
If no one texts me in the next 10 minutes I’m gonna jump out of my window
Ok both my iphone and my computer are non functioning and I’m mobile blogging from a 4 year old blackberry. If you have my number text me because I am dying of boredom
Anonymous asked: k-elly and hanna-h
you know it’s a fucked up world when stephanie meyers has a net worth of $125 million and i can’t even grow a beard
playing pokemon is the only acceptable way to pass the time while pooping
Anonymous asked: arianazolciaksbelly vs cuban-barbie
the amount i have to poop is a lot
quick show me your boobs don’t even think about it just do it
tyrone is 1 letter away from throne
think about that
think about that
Anonymous asked: wherewasmine and sparkswillalwaysflyforever
Anonymous asked: tunnnelsnakesrule or ramenjesus
tunnnelsnakesrule:
they’re grown men that dress up as clowns
and then they rap about being clowns
send me 2 urls and i'd tell you which one could... →
whoreoscopes:
people who think Santorum can actually become president.
santorum
wowwww someone buy me steroids
if i could grow a beard i would just stroke it all day
i have this dilemma where every haircut i get looks like ass but if i don’t get a haircut i just grow this awful jew fro
buttduchess replied to your photo: this is how i look when i take a break from…
omg did you get a haircut???
yeah and it looks like ASS
in all honesty i don’t like dogs because they’re only cute when they’re puppies (and that’s only some dogs) and then they just become hairy smelly poop machines
neopiacentral:
i hate pugs im sorry they are so ugly
commanderinqueef replied to your photo: this is how i look when i take a break from…
what pokemon are you playing
i’m nuzlocking pearl
1 tag
new survey finds that cocoa puffs are made of dick
commanderinqueef:
psychological fact: all white girls were interested in this because it said psychological fact
to make a long story short, you could get it
WHY WON’T MY PHONE TURN ON
TURN ON, PHONE
ramenjesus:
how to lose all of your followers ft. me
tumblr meetup in my pants ur all invited
like my status if u want 2 do sex on me
why won’t my phone turn on
please turn on, phone
“ugh i wish i lived in the 50s and 60s”
– white people and white people only (via irenigg)
mrsstamos:
also vaginastew was a girl and her url had to do with vaginas and ewrecktion is a boy and his url has to do with penises hmm